he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So vagazzling was a success
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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