it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
