My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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