forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
