This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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