Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
