Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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