We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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