You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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