Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
