Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize