I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
