and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
