YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
