The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize