Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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