I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
