Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize