I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
