I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
