I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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