I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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