Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
