He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Be still, my beating vagina.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Randomize
