I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
