I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
