woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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