nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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