Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize