I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
