I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
