and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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