Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
