Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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