Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Bring me that man meat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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