I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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