Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
