Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
