Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
