watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
