We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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