Well douche your snatch and let's go!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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