I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize