Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
