Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
