So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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