Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He better not be in your backpack
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize