week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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