they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
