I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize