I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
