I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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