matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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