47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
