If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize