There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
