How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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