just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
