i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
