So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
