is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
