I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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