U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We have so much sex to catch up on
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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