you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
