you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
