the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize