Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
