my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
