If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
