so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
