Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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